We always have a choice, a choice. It takes courage to keep trying. We can give in when we are stuck or we can ask questions. We can see being stuck as a signal to try a new way.

We have choice to to chose our responses to any given event or behaviour.

We have a choice, always a choice. We often chose to give up, to walk away, to get angry, to withdraw but, at other times we hang in there, persist and look for new ways.

The essence of this is that we can find a reason by learning from each moment.

He continues to explain that if we think of a moment of frustration in a relationship, a job, or anything you can think of right now- as a signal to try a different approach, rather than a reason to quit, then we might just take a deep breath,maybe walk away, for a minute or two and come back with renewed hope, or a willingness to try, this time in a different way.

We have a choice. Always a choice to make this moment count.

This evening, as I gazed in the sky, I wondered how many Stars I would be able to count. At first, I could not see a single Star, however with a second glance, I noticed one Star, then another and a third and before I knew it, I could count up to ten Stars. As the Stars increased number so did they increase in size.However, One appeared to be bigger in size.

Then in that instant, I was reminded of couple of things that I would like to share with you;

Whatever thought I give significant attention to grows. Thoughts become things, all the greatest innovations started with a thought, for example the gadget I am using to write this post or whatever piece of equipment you are using to read right now.

If our thoughts indeed create things, the question to think about is;
“what are we creating? “

In situations where a dark cloud is looming, A Star will shine and as the number of Stars increase, so will the opportunities.

One Star,finally appeared bigger than all of them. In situations where, I am at the crossroads, there will be a road that will standout from all of them. It might seem narrow, lonely and with just a glimmer of light at the end. That light will get brighter and brighter and so will the delightful helping Stars come beside YOU, Myself and Other individuals.

How a phobia works.

 It is possible that phobias are locked into brain zone 1(Primitive) and operate from there at a core level. This part of the brain is pretty crude and basic in its responses to the world. It is concerned with such things as survival, flight or fight, self-preservation and territorial/spacial boundaries.

Phobias work the same way for us as Pavlov’s dogs. Some biological response has been tied to some “trigger” or stimulus (usually a result of some emotionally charged incident.) This stimulus can be just thinking about something. For example the way a person thinks about being in closed space can have profound effects on his biology. These feelings can cause the triggering of a variety of feelings-including fear and panic.

Facts about removing phobias

• Removing a phobia is about disabling fear associated with a situation, activity, things animals or people. The aim of
• A phobia is a Nominalisation of behaviour. It is the behaviour associated with the phobia that you want to get rid of.
• Remember that Fear is an essential emotion designed to keep us safe because a bit of healthy fear is all that is needed most of the time.
• When you focus on your phobia, you lose control of your life, rather your phobias will. Remember that what you focus on gets bigger.
• If we talk to someone about our phobias, we will be able to get rid of it. Do not do it alone.
• Pre verbal reaction- children learn to fear when they are young/babies from their parents.
• Our brains associate phobias with something else. Such as fear of conflict can be associated with growing up within a violent home.
•  People get phobic reactions because they do not have enough information how do you generate information?

Questions to help you dig up the root the origin of the phobia you have.

• How old were you when you decided that?
• What is it about your phobia that you want to change?
• What is associated with that behaviour?

Phobias can be cured with different approaches and can take minutes to cure some, hours or days for others, but it is a waste to carry them around for life as they are limiting. Some phobias were created for a reason however overtime they become a burden. Somewhere created by accident. A  Bad timing and mix of emotion and information.  Birger

Need help?

You will profoundly benefit from a pre paid session to help you take control of that disabling phobia, so that you can get the results you want.

Contributions from Powerchange. w: powerchange.com

There is a great benefit of a hero’s journey which is a sense of meaning, a sense of being alive in the world, but with that benefit comes also the challenge, the cost. Where there is light there will always be  shadows, in fact you could always say that the lighter the light, the darker the shadows. And living a full life is about holding and addressing the shadow as well as the light.

The gift and the wound, deep within each of us is a gift we hold to give into the world. But equally within each of us there is  a woundedness. And woundedness does not just start with our personal life- we carry the wounds of our family, culture, we carry the woundedness of our planet. So the hero’s journey is about sensing how to deeply connect to these energies in a positive way.

Thus the hero’s journey is simultaneously living your gifts and healing your wounds. Your power and your influence are both in these energies. And those two things will be there as major influences on your intimate relationships, your professional life, your health and your development as a person- this simultaneous process of healing and sharing your gifts will always be there.

It is an excerpt from “The hero’s journey” by Robert Dilts and Stephen Gilligan.

Today, I am yet reminded that as human beings we are not what we do (behaviour) or what we have (performance), rather we are human beings of intrinsic worth, worth that cannot be compared to our past, after all those are just experiences, nor are we our future because those are hopes and dreams that we grow in our mind, still they are not who we are.

Our past is not who we are, however we can use it to influence our lives and the lives of others.

When we focus our attention on achievement we will always want more and  focusing on behaviour will to some extent prevent us from living a life of abundance.

What will yours be?

Positive energy catches on just as quickly as negative energy. Sometimes people are simply stuck in a habit or pattern of behaviour and are accustomed to acting a certain way. If the environment is really caustic, then it’s what people are used to and may be all they know.

It takes some time and effort as well as a commitment to do something differently to create sustainable change. You have to be willing, to identify and stop tolerating what’s not working, do the right thing even if it’s initially unpopular and then teach others to do the same.

Here are ways you can be a positive force in your workplace:

The First Step Is Awareness

Recognize the negativity around you. Sometimes you can even feel your energy being drained by the words being spoken. If it feels bad or uncomfortable, then it’s negative. These feelings are a form of intelligence similar to a tap on the shoulder letting you know something is not right. If you can identify what is happening, you can make good choices about handling it.

It All Starts with You

In what ways are you contributing to the negativity around you? Are you listening to gossip or participating in conversations where the only focus is to denigrate, diminish or criticize? Language matters. Everything you say has an impact; saying something negative not only dishonors the person you’re speaking about and the person you’re speaking with, but it also makes you feel bad even if you don’t realize it. Learn to respect people’s humanity and their right to be themselves. Complaining without end does not focus on creating solutions; rather, it perpetuates and magnifies the problem, wasting everyone’s precious time and energy.

Speak Up

Tell the other person how you feel by saying, “This doesn’t work for me.” It’s nonjudgmental, since you’re making it about you, not them. Also, people often don’t realize they are being negative. Point it out in a gentle, caring way: “Do you realize you are complaining?” Just bringing it to their attention can be enough to shift the conversation. Over time, people will learn what they can and cannot discuss with you, and it will stop being an issue. If you say nothing, your silence conveys permission to continue.

Be Constructive, Positive, Meaningful and Beneficial

What is the point or purpose of what you’re saying? Is it to hurt or help? And at the end of the conversation, is there an action step to take? Constructive conversations are empowering and leave people a little better off from having participated in them. Become the kind of person who takes your time and words seriously.

Praise and Acknowledge

It’s amazing what a few words of praise and acknowledgement can do. You want to be the kind of person people gravitate to because they know they will be uplifted by you, not put down or drained of life-sustaining energy. In short, you want people to feel good after being in your presence.

No matter what is going on around you, you control your inner environment and how you choose to respond to external events and situations. It’s your responsibility to become the kind of person you enjoy being and with whom others enjoy being around.

It takes a true leader to walk a path different from the crowd. So when others are negative, stretch your boldness muscles and be positive in spite of what others do or think. It’s the only way to create a ripple of change. And if we all do our part, then slowly but surely, we will make a difference in our work environment and the larger community.

I have recently helped a young lady, whose life has been paralysed by the fear of making mistake. This fear has immensely hindered her from living the life she wants. However, I am glad to say that this young lady has made great progress from the coaching sessions.

With the great outcomes, she gave me consent to share how she managed to overcome the fear of making mistakes.

• To start off, I helped her realise that she is not what she does, including behaviour, actions, performance, thinking and loving.  Nor WHAT she HAS, i.e. possessions, ideas, friends, thoughts and dreams. Rather her true WORTH is found in the value of human life she has within as a living human being. Discovering this helped her separate herself from owning the behaviour and possession, this gave her the freedom to explore and discover more.

• She made it her goal to do something daring every single day, for example she made a choice to attend a dinner party on her own and she took it further to introduce herself to the groups of people, she not only introduced herself, she told people what she does and asked them what they really want out of life.

• She became more curious and adventurous, other than making assumptions she approached projects and event s with a position of inquiry.  She would frequently ask herself the skylight question ‘WHAT is more important than any of this?’  She asked the ‘What if?’ question.

• She made herself a slogan, ‘DO not make meaning out of this, Just do it.’

• She replaced the fear of making mistakes with the Tinkering approach, it is a good approach to lots of things – to keep trying things out and seeing what works or does not work and then try out some more things until it works. It is a better approach to be replaced with fear of making mistakes. This can be applied to anything, be it relationships, ideas, work, and more.

Andrew Sercombe in his book ‘What happens when you do something,’ mentions a young man, by the names of Jonathan whose favourite quote is ‘If you cannot kill me you can only improve me’. I thought that I would throw this in because it is such a great attitude towards people and events.

If someone or an event does not kill, it can only improve life be a teacher.

Just like this young lady, I give permission to whoever may be reading this and is paralysed by the fear of making mistakes.  Make one mistake today, as long as you are generous and true to yourself and human kind. You will discover what works and does not work.

Mistakes are learning experiences make them often.

Book

What happens when you do anything, by Andrew Sercombe visit the site for a copy www.powerchange.com

Notice what happens as you read.

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